Q: I desperately want to dismantle my false self and reach Human Adulthood, but I’m stuck on surrender. I’m worried about abdicating my free will to an outside agency. How can I avoid doing so?

A: What’s really being asked here is:  “If I surrender, who’s left to control what happens to me?”

At first, this sounds like someone earnestly pursuing truth: “I want to dismantle the false self, but I don’t want to lose my autonomy.” But beneath that is the ego’s final defense, its attempt to stay alive while pretending to die. The false self is saying, “I’ll surrender, but only on my terms.”

The assumption being smuggled in is that there’s a “you” who can manage surrender, that free will belongs to an independent agent who can “avoid” giving it away. But surrender can’t be managed. The one trying to control it is precisely what must dissolve. The fear of “abdicating free will” isn’t about God, fate, or outside forces. It’s the self terrified of its own nonexistence.

What’s being defended isn’t freedom, but the illusion of it. You’re not actually afraid of losing your free will, you’re afraid of seeing that you never had any.

 This type of defense is typical of Deconstruction where the architecture of the false self is collapsing, and the mind is fighting to preserve control. The ego’s last stand often comes dressed as spiritual caution trying to ensure safety while pretending to let go.

The fear of surrender is the fear of annihilation, and this resistance marks the edge of the false self’s death. The false self is fighting for survival under the guise of spiritual caution. The free will debate is really the false self defending its own illusion of agency. “Free will” is still imagined to belong to the individual. The false self clings to autonomy, mistaking surrender for submission to an outside agency. 

The fear of “abdicating free will” is the ego’s last defense. Its way of saying, I’ll let go, but on my terms.

There is no “outside agency.” The one drawing the line between “me” and “other” is the illusion. Surrender isn’t something you do. It’s what happens when the doer is seen through.

Let me ask you this — and it’s the only question worth asking here:

When you say you’re afraid of “abdicating your free will,” who exactly is the one that has it to lose?

Everything else is the false self negotiating its own funeral.