Q: My incarcerated brother asked me to ask you: "I want to become real but how do I move beyond all the awful things I’ve done and all the hate and rage I feel?"

A: Your brother’s question is raw, honest, and confronting in the right way. But like most questions at this point, it isn’t the real one.

He’s not actually asking how to move beyond what he’s done. That’s the mind looking for relief, forgiveness, or a way out of the pain. That’s certainly understandable, but it’s not where becoming real begins.

Identifyi…