Q: I’ve seen through just enough to know how fake and performative I am and how my whole life has been a lie. So where am I and how long is going to take to go from false self to something real?

A: The discomfort you’re feeling isn’t because your life was a lie, it’s because the lie no longer works and the mechanism that depended on it is panicking. Seeing “how fake and performative I am” isn’t self-criticism; it’s perception. And perception is lethal to the false self.

So let’s be clear about what’s actually happening. You’re no longer asking, …