Q: What about Truth? I still want Truth... I've seen the void of my mind, however briefly, and I know that's still a step removed from the absolute.

I'm not asking what Truth is, but the process of getting there when coasting on momentum, with the Little Bastard dismantled and surrendered.

A: The Little Bastard (McKenna’s term,) is not what’s being dismantled. If it were, there would be no remaining movement toward Truth. No “getting there.” No sense of distance from “the absolute.”

It's not the Little Bastard’s drive toward clarity dissolving here. It’s psychological conflict; the dismantling of the child/self-maintenance apparatus. What dies is the structure that experienced Truth as salvation.

That resolution feels enormous because it is. But it is not “progress toward Truth.” It’s the point where Truth stops being a missing prize, ultimate rescue, or psychological necessity. The seeker doesn’t lose its final foothold until the pursuit of Truth is no longer charged with urgency.

“I still want Truth.”

Wanting Truth is now becoming the seeker’s last shelter, the final expression of the assumption that something essential remains elsewhere. It isn’t elsewhere. Truth is not reached by any process. It’s seen only when the movement to reach it collapses.

If this is a “hand-off,” nothing new is required. Only the willingness to notice that even this last movement of reaching for Truth belongs to the structure already unwinding. Let that unwind too. Nothing real is lost. Only the tension of pursuit. 

If this is about wanting “Enlightenment” or “Truth Realization”, I think you know enough to know that the you who wants it is the same one that would be annihilated by it.

Get thee to Adulthood. Living in endless deconstruction, chronic self-doubt, constant identity erosion, “almost awakening” becomes its own type of self abusive pattern, and is vastly more painful than simply living as a fully developed Human Adult. 

You say you want Truth and a process for getting there. So look carefully and honestly. 

What is this Truth that you want, and who exactly wants it?