Q: I see the importance of reaching true adulthood and I’ve been undergoing the dismantling myself. I would like to know how I might be able to convince my partner to do the same?

A: The real question behind your question is: “How can I make someone else awaken so I don’t have to face the loneliness of seeing what they can’t?”

On the surface, you’re asking how to convince your partner to begin dismantling, the way one might encourage someone to start therapy or adopt better habits. But that framing hides a deeper assumption: that awakening is something transferable, teachable, or persuasive. It isn’t. It’s contagious only by contrast, not by argument.

What’s really being defended here is your discomfort with being the only one who sees the dream as a dream.

The hidden fear isn’t about their resistance, it’s about your aloneness. You’ve crossed a threshold, and now you’re looking back, wanting to reach for the hand of one who still sleeps. That impulse is tender, but it’s still egoic. It’s the false self’s final plea to make the unreal world real again, through connection, agreement, shared meaning. You want your partner to awaken so you won’t have to feel the separation that awakening exposes.

In The Phases of Jumpers this question emerges from Phase Two: Disruption. In this phase, the scaffolding of identity and relationship begins to fracture. The old frameworks of belonging and love start to feel incompatible with the truth now seen. The temptation is to pull others through the same door, to reconstruct mutual ground, but that’s just another form of retreat.

Here’s what’s real: You can’t awaken someone else. You can only embody what’s true, and let the dream around you react however it will. Your partner’s path—whether asleep, stirring, or walking away, is none of your business. The only question that remains is your own.

So the forward-moving question is this: “What part of me still needs someone else to see it before it feels real?”

Sitting with that without reaching for an answer will show you where the self is still trying to survive.